@AristotlesNZ: Last time I wore my celery costume out in public I was arrested for stalking.
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@UncleDuke1969: *pulls up pants* Me: It feels like I've got the world's worst wedgie! Proctologist: That's normal. M: ... P: Hey... Have you seen my glove?
@hotsoccerchic69: my mom walked in when I was printing out a naked picture of a woman in 5th grade& we sat there in silence listening to the loud, 90s printer
@turdfailure: They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it.