@FunnyMojoJojo: Last week I chopped my neighbour's tree and now it's growing back because his-tree repeats itself...
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@djdarrellripley: Her: All day long I've had the strangest feeling that someone's ..... watching me. Me: Why, do you hear laughter?
@kidphonic: Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me "mom" ever since.
@GrillinChillin9: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Mexican food before wine, no 69.
@KellyMeldrum: My kids are so aware that I'm a bad driver that if I start the car before they have their seatbelts on, they cry.