@AmberTozer: Lately I've been really honest with people and so far only 47 people are mad at me
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@JervanF: I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..
@Jandalize: I decorate for Halloween by opening my bedroom curtains as I walk around naked. Pretty scary stuff for my neighbors.
@KindOfASmartass: Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10. Her: Do you want more kids? Me: Hahahahahahahaha Her: Is that a no? Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha
@TheRealNickKay: [DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE] W: SHIT