@AmberTozer: Lately I've been really honest with people and so far only 47 people are mad at me
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@TribalSpaceCat: Me: Do you have any wrongdog? "Ugh fine what's wrongdog" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible
@yerpalmildsauce: How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.
@jazmasta: [first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"