@WoodyLuvsCoffee: LAUGH IT UP NOW MILLENNIALS! IN 30 YEARS YOUR FAVORITE ACTORS WILL BE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT REVERSE MORTGAGES.
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@Elizasoul80: Johnny Depp is the best actor ever. You can't even tell he has scissor hands in Pirates of the Caribbean.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.
@randomapeig: Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once Cop: I mean around here Me: nah they live in water
@dire_beard: Snow White: Someday my prince will come Prince Charming: I swear this has never happened before