@TeeJayRush: Laughing at your mistakes could lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse's mistakes WILL shorten it...
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@Vice_Queen: I'm at a second grade music recital and this is by far the most effective form of birth control I've ever tried.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?
@iGreenMonk: I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.