@TeeJayRush: Laughing at your mistakes could lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse's mistakes WILL shorten it...
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@Probablyrad: Today's kids will never know how it felt to give your computer AIDS just for free music
@Illuminati_Stop: "WATERMELON" HAS 4 SYLLABLES. "ILLUMINATI" HAS 5 SYLLABLES. THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE. WATERMELON IS ILLUMINATI.
@murrman5: wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]