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@OnlyFastEddie: *laughs all the way to the bank*
*cries all the way back*
Scroll your phone,
gently down the screen.
MY GOD THAT'S OBSCENE!!!!!!!!!
@writerPT: 5yo: OMG I'M STARVING I NEED TO EAT I'M GONNA DIIIIIEE!!
*eats 3 fries*
5yo: Can I be done?
@Cravin4: It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that's when the sporks flew.
@Kyle_Lippert: Go to Starbucks. Tell them your name is Dad. Hide in the crowd. Listen as the hipster barista says "Dad?..Dad?..DAD?..DAD?!" & starts crying
@Thynebear: "There are hot Shingles in your area"
- My Doctor