@llvvzzz: Laughter is not the best medicine. Please take your medicine.
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@Rockenden: If ever you're feeling down, and I can't be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch.
@Steven37366100: Wife: *spreads picnic beneath large oak tree* Me: No good Wife: Why not? Me: Seems shady Wife: *attacks me with plastic cutlery*
@aveuaskew: Repeatedly referring to the electrician as a "take charge kind of guy" is a great way to make your doorbell turn on the garbage disposal.