@DaddyJew: Laughter is the best medicine, unless you can afford cocaine.
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@TheTimmyToes: (car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? "Aww for ur wife?" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes
@TheToddWilliams: [boxing match] TRAINER: Give him the old 'one-two' CHAMP: I'm not too good at math TRAINER: Ok...a left and a right CHAMP: Or politics