@BackrowSeats: Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have herpes. Laugh all you want. You'll still have herpes.
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@murrman5: [park bench with girlfriend] so you're dumping me because you don't think I'm smart? "yes brent" *starts raining* great and now sky water
@BuckyIsotope: BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*
@JerseyRambo: You know you're watching Star Wars with Catholics when every time you hear "May the Force be with you," you hear, "And also with you."