@HollyHeals: Laughter is the best medicine........unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine.
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@Hobo_Splendido: Sorry, there's a technical problem preventing me from RTing your tweets. Technically they're not funny.
@Pulse_NYC: So proud of myself...6 whole months without smoking! Today I was able to ride the elevator all the way to the top without getting winded.
@hstweetheart: Ariel: "But I love him, daddy!" *sobs as King Tritan rips her iPhone away and unfollows PrinceEric69*