@HollyHeals: Laughter is the best medicine........unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
@BlindChow: "I have a particular set of spills," Liam Neeson says, eyeing his soiled shirt. He looks for a napkin but the last one's already been Taken.
@asimplesean: Pretty sure my dog would make a shitty astronaut because space is a vacuum and those tend to scare him