@JasonLastname: Law enforcement's cracking down on texting while driving, but there's no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
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@HannahAntics: I complain about my kids a lot but I'd be lost without them. Lost in my expensive sports car in designer clothes. Or lost in my clean house.
@jordan_stratton: [boss finds pics of me snowboarding] "You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING" *fist bump*
@juliussharpe: Million dollar idea - an app that connects you with other people eating beef jerky in their car.