@ibid78: LAWYER: Your Honor, I'd like to approach the bench
BENCH: I have a boyfriend
@ohpeetie: I feel sorry for kids today but mostly because their cartoons are terrible.
@_davidlucas_: *Relationship status*
Me: I'm heading off now.
@mean_crow: hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-
@ElKnuckelhombre: My kid sold your honor student a quarter ounce of oregano.
@ValeeGrrl: If you guys need me I'll be strutting confidently through a parking lot toward a car that turns out not to be mine.