@MartinMurtagh: Laying in bed with the wife last night, she asked "what would you like to do most to my body?""identify it" probably wasnt the right answer
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@TheBoydP: If you don’t believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?
@Dawn_M_: It's been four days since I started this rap battle. I'm tired and just want to see my family.
@okay_andi: Make sure to make eye contact with the hottest person in the room as you stuff a burrito into your mouth
@Awk0Tacoo: I covered my boyfriend's laptop in melted cheese and now he's really mad at me. I mean, what did he expect when he asked for Mac and cheese?