@MartinMurtagh: Laying in bed with the wife last night, she asked "what would you like to do most to my body?""identify it" probably wasnt the right answer
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@kiralc: i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad.
@Thunder_Fart: Did you know that when you meet an Indian you can CHOOSE not to mention slumdog millionaire?
@AimeeHelene1: Geez, I'm so sorry...I'm not normally ticklish. (me to the nail lady I just kicked in the face during my pedicure)
@ComedicBust: Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5...