@OddMarc: Laziness is a dish best served delivered.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know
@Smooheed: I just ruined my 5 year olds' entire life by using the wrong shade of yellow for the sun Yay parenting
@pinupteacher: ME: What tattoo should I get? TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.
@dumbbeezie: I learned everything I need to know from cats. When things get sketchy, run like hell and then stop and groom yourself