@OddMarc: Laziness is a dish best served delivered.
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@Home_Halfway: The Olympics are my favorite 3 week event where I get to harshly judge people way better than me.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what are your future plans? Me: lunch Interviewer: I meant long term plans Me: what, like dinner?
@kelkulus: The Russian version of "How I Met Your Mother" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page.
@sarousti: Definition of Insomnia: Finding a spider in your bedroom & when you leave for a second to get the spray & come back it's gone