@ddsmidt: Leap years mean nothing when you have bad knees.
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@rocknthepurple: I just wish I had someone who wanted to touch me as much as my shower curtain does.
@jordan_stratton: Doctor: "We got your test results back. I'm so sorry--it's Curiosity." Cat: "Oh my god..."
@NikiWithIssues: My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi.
@fsuflores: I feel so bad for all these women that give me their phone numbers and when I call the line has been disconnected This economy is ruthless.