@DatingLeah: Learn cursive, they said. You'll need it your whole life, they said.
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@aparnapkin: One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for
@BritXNic: You can tell a lot about a man by the way he calls off the wedding and starts dating your brother.
@Reverend_Scott: [at Applebees on Christmas] God: Your food good? Jesus: Ya, it- *a crowd of servers surrounds them* Jesus: You didn't... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y
@Sanbel11: When a husband asks you if you think it's possible to love someone forever... "If I find the right person" is apparently the wrong answer.