@DatingLeah: Learn cursive, they said. You'll need it your whole life, they said.
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@JessicaVarsity: I just leaped over a 3ft tall dog gate with the skill and grace of an olympian to get a snack from microwave. *Adds track star to resume*
@mortimermaiden: I'm a gentleman, so I when I see a woman about to open a door, I sprint up and tackle her back, so a man can open it for her.
@EliTerry: another car tip: once a month, open the hood and rip out one thing. most of the engine is decorative and weighs down your car
@DaddyJew: I'm at my creepiest when I see a drunk chick crying outside of a bar and just think 'bingo