@Cryptoterra: learn just enough tap dancing just to tap dance out of the room when you win an argument
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@TeaAndCopy: ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment? EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: Or you'll what?
@AdviceFromDino: Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did.
@aimlessamers: No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger.
@NoticablyBacon: Accidentally just told a girl that "she has a nice head" because I appearently have the flirting skills of a serial killer