@sammyrhodes: Learned from my 2yr old tonight that Jesus doesn't like bananas. No word on cauliflower yet but pretty sure he's not a fan.
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@dafloydsta: DOCTOR: I'm afraid I've got bad news ME: *pulls an apple from pocket* DOCTOR: *sweating* GOOD NEWS, I MEANT GOOD NEWS
@sixfootcandy: You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week.
@WildeThingy: I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they're in.
@decentbirthday: [waking up after car crash] Doctor: Sadly, we could only reattach 8 of your fingers. However we were able to reattach all 12 of your toes