@ipalatsky: Learning how to say "where the hell am I?" in eight languages. Just in case.
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@kelkulus: I like how Subway sells "healthy footlong" sandwiches, as if anything is healthy when you're eating it by the foot.
@jonnysun: grandpa: ur father changed after the war me: somtimes emojis i never use appear in my frequently used page and i dont kno how they got there
@markleggett: 1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run.