@ipalatsky: Learning how to say "where the hell am I?" in eight languages. Just in case.
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@Phook75: If love at first sight was really a thing, I would've been married to Cheetara from Thundercats
@protolalia: Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver's license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?
@TheTweetOfGod: With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible.
@comfynumb2012: Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle.