@AlfKilledMyCat: Learning spanish is bloody hard. I wish the english had conquered more of the world, I'm suffering from their laziness
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: [text] Hub: I have to go to the doctor. Me: Is it your eyes? Hub: Yes! Me: Is your vision blurry? Hub: Yes!! Me: You're wearing my contacts.
@itweetmaya: If Obama wins I'm leaving the country. If Romney wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political Tweet I just want to travel.
@smithsara79: Me: Hey Mom! My mom: Oh haha I get that all the time Me: Wha- Definitely my mom: *walking away from me* Just one of those faces, I guess!
@jonnysun: normal brain: “you’re now unsubscribed from our mailing list” big brain: “please tell us why you’ve unsubscribed” exploding brain: “type in the email address you’d like us to remove from our list” galaxy brain: “please log in and visit your account settings to select which lis