@trevso_electric: Leave a Post-It on your girlfriend's birth control that says, "guess u don't want 2 have my babies haha."
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@elle91: They said the kids that bullied me in school would be pumping my gas one day but 1 just got a modeling contract who do I talk to about this
@SteveKoehler22: Hey big accounts - What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ? My cat would be dead before I got 50
@jonnysun: BARBER: what'll it be ME: can u make me feel extremeley self-conscious for 45 minutes BARBER: u got it