@Abusitron: [leaving 5 minute voicemail] ...and you can reach me at [deep breath] *says phone number as fast as possible, slurring the numbers together*
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@samalmightysam: -Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!
@MakesYouGiggle: Not having a date on Valentine's Day doesn't really worry me... It's those 364 other date-less days that are causing me a bit of concern.
@KeepsItRustic: Someone praising you is also someone being judgmental. The difference is that you like the verdict this time.