@Abusitron: [leaving 5 minute voicemail] ...and you can reach me at [deep breath] *says phone number as fast as possible, slurring the numbers together*
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@Cpin42: When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts.
@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@chuuew: ME What's a penguins favourite relative? Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN . . ME [makes flies over head motion] PENGUIN I don't know what that means
@thenatewolf: Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out.