@Chelsea_Elle: Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom.
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@skitzoette: Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead.
@Home_Halfway: [Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm "latte" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer
@Landon8426: American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took "the floor is lava" game way to seriously as kids.