@obviousplant_: Left at a local drug store...
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@MatCro: ME: Man, Nosferatu is a good film HIPSTER: I preferred the original M: Original? What original? H: Nosfera One.
@ComedicBust: [hiding in a pantry during a robbery] Wife: [terrified and crying] Me: [eating fat free Cheez-Its] I seriously can't taste the difference.
@KimmyMonte: *phone rings* "Yeh hi who's this? Sure he's here hold on.. Drastic Measures! Call for u." "Who is it?" "Drastic Times" *crowd goes wild*