@jabbins: Left my car for maybe 15 minutes in front of the dorms and I come back to this. College man
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@brianbowman73: I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup.
@DamienFahey: I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."
@KamaroPayne: My husband doesn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, when I read all your tweets out loud to him. For 2 hours. Douche.
@TheIronSherk: Working front desk at Motel 6 wasn't paying the bills so I started dealing meth to the housekeepers. It was an Inn side job.