@InThaBurbs: Legalize Marijuana and Criminalize Karaoke.
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@LaniBeno: Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.
@AndyRichter: Back in my day when we found a Pokémon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone
@discountzen: I told my husband that instead of leaving his dirty dishes on the counter, he should leave them in 1952 so a nice housewife cleans them up.