@meganamram: LEGALIZE MEDICINAL MURDER
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@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.
@ilovepie84: After killing a spider I wrap the web around his neck and hang him from the wall to make it look like a suicide.
@BrettDruck: Her: I'm so wet Him: I'm so hard Eavesdropping alien: These people are bad at describing themselves.
@LuvPug: My dog is disabled so I have to hold him up when he pees. Long story short, I'm getting really good at writing my name in the snow.