@NickBossRoss: Legally, you don't actually have to ever stop screaming.
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@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong
@dmc1138: I had a dream I went to Hell and Satan forced me to sing karaoke with him. That's right, the Devil made me duet.
@TheDairylandDon: Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust.