@NickBossRoss: Legally, you don't actually have to ever stop screaming.
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@joeyhuggles: My favorite response to someone asking how something works... "Magic" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy
@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM
@PaperWash: GF: I think I'm gunna start a Twitter account Me: *whips head around* I'll help you set it up! *Grabs GF's phone and hurls it into the Sun*