@DaddyJew: Legend has it that if you don't look a coworker in the eye they won't stop to tell you about their weekend.
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@Smooheed: *tries to flirt* *twirls hair in fingers* *fingers get caught in giant knot* *learns to live using only one arm*
@TheBoydP: HGTV has taught me you can do anything if you have the right tools. I’ve also learned that any handyman you hire will have those tools.
@amselts: Instead of expecting your wife to make you dinner every night like it's 1950, man up and develop a cocaine habit so you don't need to eat.