@DaddyJew: Legend has it that if you don't look a coworker in the eye they won't stop to tell you about their weekend.
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@AnOrangeSNES: "Sir, is this gluten free?" The waiter nods happily "Great," I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, "I'm building a gluten fort!"
@Jake_Vig: Average Guy: [writes her a song] Girl: "Yeah, whatever." Hot Guy: "Sup." Girl: "Oh my god, you're so creative!"
@McCutty1: *Rains pennies from heaven* *coins decimate the land [terrified scream] 'CHANGE IS IN THE AIR!'
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.