@DaddyJew: Legend has it that if you don't look a coworker in the eye they won't stop to tell you about their weekend.
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@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
@Sassafrantz: [Ghost Hunters] This ghost is a male, probably in his 40's -how'd u figure that out? He went bat shit crazy when we turned the thermostat up
@FrogAvalanche:  One smoker left in the world. The Quit Smoking ads get personal. HEY KEVIN, STOP SMOKING. YOU STINK. YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU NEED VIAGRA.