@JaneanPatience: Leonard Cohen is jamming in heaven with Prince now. Really awkwardly. It's not going well. Their musical styles aren't compatible
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@WGladstone: When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room.
@jwoodham: It's almost Christmas, which means it's almost time to hear my parents' new excuses for why Jennifer Lawrence isn't under the tree again.