@jwoodham: Leonardo DiCaprio is totally getting laid tonight! This has nothing to do with the Oscar, just a safe assumption to make each and every day.
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@david8hughes: Mechanic: that's gonna cost $2000 Me: how much? Mechanic: $3000 Me: what did you say before that Mechanic: I said "that's gonna cost"
@Steelers1972: Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ....
@Tmoney68: [2 T-Rex's getting drunk] "I'm wasted." "Me too. You know how bad?" "Don't say it again." "I can't feel my face." "Goddammit, Kevin."