@StevioSquared: Leonardo DiCaprio playing me in the movie of my life, but in the scene where I'm watching Titanic, it's me playing him.
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@panmidwest: DR.: you're going to feel a little bit of pressure. Ready? ME: yes DR.: your sister is younger but already has a career path & owns her home
@RocketRankoon: Shout out to Pringles for admitting they're addictive, unlike cigarettes and heroin the two biggest liars of the snack industry.
@LackOfShame: I'm "had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing" years old.