@JohnLyonTweets: Les Miserables was pretty good but I wish I'd had some kind of warning that everyone in it would be so unhappy.
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@MandiAtRandom: Officer: Did u know your back light is out Me: I don't know if you noticed... I'm inside the car. You had a bit of an advantage
@d_duhwit: Wife*comes home*: What's that noise? Me: U said to give Tim an anvil Wife: ADVIL! He should be in bed Me: but..he's almost finished my sword
@FrenulumBreve: *Britney Spears releases a new fragrance* *the other dinner guests look embarrassed and pretend not to notice.*