@xofreckles: Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm
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@CarpeAngela: I just watched the girl next to me google "lack toast and tolerant symptoms" Symptoms: you have no toast but it's totally tolerable.
@Molly_Kats: The second I get shampoo in my eyes, I'm 100% sure there's a murderer in my bathroom.
@Phlegmingway: I prefer science to religion, as the former doesn't seem to grow vengeful and jealous when refused attention.
@carlyken: Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED