@theshamingofjay: Let he who is without selfie cast the first stone
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@McGrumpenstein: *Dial-up modem gets on stage at a whale rap battle* “BEEEEEWoooooo BLEEeeeeee BING bing ping” *drops mic* *stunned whale crowd loses it*
@Sal0630: Sorry I started singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the accountability meeting, but you said "easy come, easy go" so I just ran with it..
@david8hughes: Therapist: what would you say to your dad if he were alive today? Me: sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead