@theshamingofjay: Let he who is without selfie cast the first stone
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@jonnysun: dave is coming over "normal dave or dave whos alwayes doing impressions of evrybody we know" [from outside] hi guyes, its normal dave "noooo
@Reel2Dialog2: [playing poker] "I'm all in" *slowly pushes a half-eaten burrito and a cat to middle of the table*
@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING
@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"