@ceejoyner: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous.
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@WildeThingy: "I want to swim with an overweight, rich white guy before I die." - Dolphin bucket list.
@PajamaBen_: *cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you
@kumailn: "I'll be a dentist. Then they'll love me." "We're terrified of dentists." "I'll kill a lion!" "It was a beloved lion with a name." "Dammit."
@protolalia: "Sorry, that was my bad." "Your bad what?" "No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad." "You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?" "Yeah"