@behindyourback: Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse.
@thepunningman: [two women sunbathing in garden] "It's so nice out here" "Where's that creepy guy who lives next door?" HEDGE "He's away for the weekend"
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: After many years I've realized I'm allergic to beer. It causes me to break out in places. Places I have no idea how to get home from.
@OnlyFastEddie: I get really freakin pissed off when complete strangers ask me a lot of questions. So no... the job interview didn't go very well.