@behindyourback: Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height.
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@VenisVal: Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!
@CulturedRuffian: Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!
@Amazon_Blonde: No beer or Snacks?!? WORST. PARTY. EVER. Family: uh...this is an Intervention Me: LAME, look, Grandmas so bored she's crying
@3sunzzz: I took a Viagra just to see what would happen, I couldn't sit down for four hours. Narrator: Ursula should never be left unsupervised.