@gingerfaced: "Let me be clear" the sliding glass door said as I face planted it.
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@OddMarc: If you don't walk sideways chanting 'crab people' when holding tongs, we can't be friends.
@PinkCamoTO: CW: Why don't you ever wear your hair down? Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So? Me: I don't want to encourage that.
@Cpin42: Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can’t help thinking...I’ll never have abs like that.
@EndhooS: [1st date, don't let her know you're a panda] "Do u mind if I ask how you got the um *gestures at eyes* These? I..*rubs neck* cage fighting