@gingerfaced: "Let me be clear" the sliding glass door said as I face planted it.
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@maurex23: [drug test] WEED: what did you get for #15? HEROIN: the teacher said not to share answers. COCAINE: done LSD: this paper tastes like crab
@skullpuppy11: My cat said "meow", so I answered with a "meow", and now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to.
@Schmoodles: Toaster settings: No.1: "I do nothing." No.2: "I do nothing." No.3: "I do nothing." No.4: "I SET BREAD ON FIRE!"
@GrantTanaka: they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had