@Xalqee: " Let me be perfectly clear" - My Aquarium
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@WilliamAder: "Damn you, Autocorrect!!!!" - Mark Zuckerberg, who had intended to announce that he was giving away 99% of his socks
@Matt_The_1st: Me: yes, I'll take the free burger Cashier: sir, you have to buy one to get one Me: I only want one though, the free one
@hyperblastchic: Me: That was fun! Fist me! Him: What?! Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles* Him: .....