@sammyrhodes: Let me get this straight Hulu Plus. I pay you $ to watch shows & then you fill those shows with commercials. This sounds familiar.
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@ArfMeasures: PET SHOP OWNER: So would u like a puppy for your son? ME: Yes [home] WIFE: Where's Tommy? ME [with a puppy] ok so they offered me this deal
@davedittell: *friend bites off beer bottle cap at party* HONEY! HONEY!! NOW!! NOW!!! *wife jumps out car with a hundred jars from the fridge*
@AimeeHelene1: Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*