@AkashThakan: Let me tell you why going outside is not safe. Because chances are after a few days you end up retweeting a joke about yourself.
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@Pirate_nurse: Well, Norah on FB has decided to continue her thankfulness through December and I have decided to key her car after dinner
@bobvulfov: TSA AGENT: take off ur shoes please ME: [hiding counterfeit pokemon cards in my shoes] the dude in front of me said he has a grenade