@AkashThakan: Let me tell you why going outside is not safe. Because chances are after a few days you end up retweeting a joke about yourself.
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@tudorgrrrl: How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?
@DominicStraw: Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!