@patnelke: Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now.
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@jonnysun: PSYCHATRIST: wat do u see ME: a rorschach test PSYCHATRIST: and this one? ME: a inkblot used to test my psyche PSYCHATRIST: (starts sweatig)
@WilliamAder: Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is.
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "How do u kno the deceased?" I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.