@patnelke: Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now.
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@Paxochka: People who say "life doesn't come with a set of instructions" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: It says you're here for a blood test. First, some questions. Number one: over the last six months who's been a good boy?
@cloudypianos: what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom
@kchees: All the single ladies put your hands up! *handcuffs all the single ladies together and pushes them off a cliff* I'm your only option now.