@josePhDhoran: "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign
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@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.
@mbichaela: me [to snail on ceiling]: ah ure a cute lil guy how'd u get up there? snail: I just want to die pls why do I have to be so sticky
@G_Faylor: I crash my car. Hundreds of pairs of clean underwear instantly spill from my glove box protecting me from harm.