@rickygervais: "Let there be me." God, just before he created himself out of nothing.
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@Whitnuts: I always try to tell myself that I don't actually hate people as much as I say I do...and then I go to the mall.
@OBiiieeee: *my wife catches me in bed looking at an optical illusions book* HONEY, NO IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
@withanewname: Yoga? No thank you. I'll download an app to my phone so I don't have to stretch for the remote.