@inmynewskin: Let your girlfriend know how much you love her by screeching loudly like a pterodactyl whenever she talks.
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@fart: what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person
@Plurmo: "What should we call the big finger?" "'Thumb' seems as good as any." "Impressive. What about this smallest one?" "PINKY!" "............."
@AnOrangeSNES: [Standing still for a picture] I guess you can say I'm *turns around for a second and the camera goes off* not good at posing for pictures.