@CantWaitToNap: "Lethal Weapon" is my favorite movie about how to fix a dislocated shoulder.
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@kendragaylord: How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read.
@mstluvstrinkets: What's the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
@WritePlay: ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT TAYLOR SWIFT: Aw here are some band aids ME: THOSE DON'T FIX BULLETHOLES TS: *picks up guitar* ...brb ME: I'M STILL DYING
@CountGripsnatch: I'm no architect, but I don't think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll.