@CantWaitToNap: "Lethal Weapon" is my favorite movie about how to fix a dislocated shoulder.
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@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.
@stockejock: When life hands you gators, make Gatorade...just kidding-that means life hates you because the gators would totally kill and eat you 1st.
@TragicAllyHere: [Casually but methodically making my way through a party until I secure a spot next to the snacks] Quietly, as if into earpiece: "I'm in."
@Sarcasmo718: My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper.