@NYC_Blonde: Let's all take a moment to honor National Punctuation Day because life would be: very, confusing! Without it?
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@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.
@TheToddWilliams: WIFE: What’re you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don’t do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?
@_sinistroll: WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey