@Midgetspar: Lets all Twittercide at the same time & not tell a Will Smith parody account, 1 dog account, & all the zombie people just to freak him out.
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@vvvolte: does anyone know what to do if you carve a pumpkin that is too scary. i cant go in my kitchen
@KeetPotato: me: [trying to pronounce gnocchi] "gnocc gnocc-" waiter: "who's there? haha" me: "this isn't a joke son"
@aka_fatman: Yesterday, I told my son about the Tooth Fairy. Today, I find 33 teeth under his pillow. Clearly they are not his. I am very, very afraid.