@Black__Elvis: "Let's blast some Jack Johnson and call each other Broseph and dump our girlfriends with a text." -Dudes who wear salmon colored jean shorts
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@TheHyyyype: ME: *tells joke* WIFE: ugh, that was funny in middle school [later] ME [at a local middle school]: so have you all heard the one about th
@super_morgasm: Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with.
@edgarrants: I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE MY WIFE IS DRIVING WITHOUT HER GLASSES ON AGAIN!!
@ericsshadow: No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married.