@Home_Halfway: "Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died" ~ Really personal trainer
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@TwinSurvivalist: After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them.
@KentWGraham: A woman saying "I'm not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won’t feel a thing."
@daemonic3: [working in garage] "Hand me a screwdriver, son" A flat one? "No" [mixes vodka and Orange Crush] Here ya go